JIS Football Funday Pt II

And while we’re on the subject of sports, below are some of the best double entendres in sport which never fail to make me smile:

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: “Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.”

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: “Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis‘s misses every chance he gets.”

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards‘ tyre choice on World Superbike racing: “Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.”

WINNING Post’s Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy‘s formidable lead: “Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees.”

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: “Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg.”

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: “There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.”

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: “What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?”

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: “Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69.”

US PGA Commentator – “One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them …. Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!”

Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator – “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”

New Zealand Rugby Commentator – “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”

Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator – “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”

And not forgetting Cricket – “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”