Today is World Mental Health Day, and I have been thinking about how we check on each other.
Where I grew up, care shows up as food, a seat at the table, a quick “Sudah makan?” It is a good habit and I would not change it. But how rarely does the conversation go one step further, to the question underneath: how are you actually coping?
During my years in the corporate world, I went through a dark patch. At work, no one checked in. I do not say that to blame anyone. Most people simply did not know what to look for, or how to ask. What got me through was my family, a psychologist who helped me make sense of it, and a self help programme that taught me practical tools for the worst moments. Getting closer to God helped immensely too. Faith gave me something steady to hold when everything else felt unsteady. Without all of these, I honestly think I would have lost it.
For me, faith and professional help worked together, not against each other. I say this because some people feel they must choose between the two.
Part of the reason for the silence is stigma, and we should say so plainly. In our society, struggling mentally is still too often seen as weakness, as something shameful, or as a private matter to keep inside the family. So people go quiet. They say they are just tired or stressed, and carry on. Those around them see nothing, because nothing is shown.
I now believe the gap is not a lack of care. Many of us were never shown how to start that conversation, or we worry that asking will make things heavier. Usually it does the opposite. Being asked, and not rushed, can ease the load.
So here is a small ask for today. Pick one person you have not properly checked on. Ask the second question. Then listen without fixing.
And if you are the one carrying something heavy, tell someone you trust and consider speaking to a professional. Seeking help is not weakness. It is maintenance.