Five ways to deal with ask-holes

An ask-hole is a slang term used to describe a person who repeatedly asks for advice or information but either ignores it or does the opposite of what was suggested. The term typically implies that the person is not genuinely seeking guidance, but rather seeking attention or validation.

Dealing with ask-hole behavior can be challenging, but here are a few strategies that may help:

1. Set boundaries: If someone repeatedly asks for your advice but doesn’t seem to follow it, it’s important to set boundaries to protect your time and energy. You might try saying something like, “I’m happy to help you brainstorm solutions, but I can’t commit to spending a lot of time on this if you’re not willing to take my advice seriously.”
2. Be selective with your advice: If you suspect that someone is an ask-hole, it’s okay to be more selective with the advice you offer. Instead of providing a comprehensive solution, try to focus on one or two key suggestions that you think will have the biggest impact.
3. Encourage self-reflection: Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re not taking your advice seriously. Encourage the person to reflect on their behavior and ask them to explain how they plan to apply your suggestions. This may prompt them to take your advice more seriously in the future.
4. Be honest: If the person’s behavior is bothering you, it’s okay to be honest with them. Gently point out the pattern of behavior and explain how it makes you feel. For example, you might say, “I’m happy to help you, but I’m starting to feel like you’re not taking my advice seriously. Can you help me understand why that is?”
5. Move on: If you’ve tried these strategies and the person’s behavior isn’t changing, it may be time to disengage. You don’t have to continue offering advice if it’s not being valued or respected. Focus your time and energy on people who are receptive to your suggestions and who you enjoy helping.